Old Age & Wisdom

TenaG sent the following along and with my 70th birthday coming on July 22, I thought I’d revise them to add my own personal wisdom (I’m just a whippersnapper compared with Regina). My added comments are in parentheses and are not always to be taken seriously, in case you didn’t already know me well enough to know that):

To Celebrate Growing Older: 45 lessons life taught me by Regina Brett, 90, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. (On a scale of poor-fair-good-very good-excellent.)

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. (And always carry a parachute)

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. (Especially yourself)

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch. (my job’s history; my parents, too; but some of my friends are still kickin’ and might help out if they remember who I am)

5. Pay off your credit cards every month. (Or at least make a payment)

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. (Then use your brass knucks)

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. (True of most things)

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. (He – or she – won’t even notice one more whiner)

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. (WAAAY Too late)

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. (I’ve always favored oatmeal cookies or ginger snaps)

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. (See No. 9)

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry. (If you can find them)

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. (Amen!)

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it. (Uh-oh!)

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks. (That non-blinkin’ so-and-so!)

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. (And the wheezing may even sound musical)

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. (Suicide is illegal in most states)

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. (Pass that joint!)

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else. (That’s what my spouse keeps telling me)

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer. (Viagra works!)

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. (OK, but Bev may think it’s a little odd for me to start wearing her lingerie at this late date)

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. (Wear Depends)

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. (See No. 9)

24. The most important sex organ is the brain. (See No. 14)

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. (So that’s why my complaints never get any results!)

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?' (Then hope you make it for another five years)

27. Always choose life. (Until the last possible nanosecond)

28. Forgive everyone everything. (Can’t remember what the wrongs were anyway)

29. What other people think of you is none of your business. (But I’m still curious)

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. (And hope Time does the same for you)

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. (Or not …)

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. (I’ve been telling people that for decades)

33. Believe in miracles. (a million Deadheads can’t be wrong)

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do. (Thank God!)

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. (Present!)

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young. (See No. 34)

37. Your children get only one childhood. (Until they are as old as me, that is; see No. 19)

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. (That and, to your survivors, what’s in the will)

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. (Amen!)

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back. (Not if I can just tiptoe out before they are reapportioned …)

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. (And then some … Old age seems to consist of a continual sorting and paring away)

42. The best is yet to come. (Every second …)

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. (Hmmmm … since retiring I’ve been known to wear the same sweatsuit several days running …)

44. Yield. (See No. 32)

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift." (Amen!)

46. Life is too short to waste good calories on bad food. Always eat well. (That reminds me: Time for breakfast!)